Love…or in Love ?


(I will be joining the protest tomorrow morning until the 24th..the Government is trying to shut down freedom of speech and the freedoms of bloggers and websites.

Join the protest or all your work could be gone.. enough is enough 

I have asked myself this question a thousand times (OK once).  I have meet some people who still love there ex’s but then say “yeah but we are not in love”. I understand caring for another person but using the word love to describe how they feel about them..yeah don’t get that. I think this word used to be very strong but has been over used to the point it took on another meaning. You really have to do some thinking when you ask yourself this..”am I in love ?” …or “do I like him or her very much ? “.

Ask yourself this:

1. Do they fill my emotional needs

2. Do they want to see me sucseed

3. Do they still go out of there way to please me

4. Do they still appreciate what I do

5. Are they living for us or for themselves

6. Can they walk in the room and feel you (your energy)

7. do you still kiss (with emotion not lust)

8. do you still look in each others eyes

9. are we a team working on life’s problems

10. do you still sit on the couch together

If the answer is yes to 75% then you are In Love. If your only about 30% of this list talk to your partner and work on them. You can loose that energy if you let the simple things pass you buy. You can’t fix everything all the time and some things are just not meant to be but if deep down in your core of life you both still have the same feelings,don’t let them die or let life get in the way of your happiness.


Profile Photo Do’s and Don’ts

OK, Let me see if I can put this in a good way for some of you to understand. Although many say looks do not mean anything, I find it hard to believe in that. Looking at this scientifically we all have what they call a dent in our Genes. Some of you may have read this report.  Some are attracted to long hair or a guy with muscles. Every single person on this planet has a normal list of dents they use when looking at a man or women to see if they are attracted to one another. Say you are looking at a profile photo and only see a drivers license type photo. Some look at it and may pick up 1 or 2 likes (dents) but need much more then that to form and attraction. Take a look at the list, this may help you when doing your profile in the future.


1. Take shots of you sitting in a chair

2. Take shots of you in normal movements

3. Take shots of you dressed up

4. Take shots of you in sweat pants (informal ware)

5. Take shots of you smiling in every picture you take.

6. Take shots holding things in your life (books you like and so on)



Do Not’s:

1. Take a shot with you kissing air ??

2. Take a picture as a want to be model

3. Take a picture just showing your privates

4. Post a picture that is blurry

5. post a picture that is so dark you just see your teeth and eyes

6. Look like your about to kill someone

The object of profile pictures is to tell a story of who you are. Take some time and get good amateur  photos. Sure you can get a pro to take them but why? I think people would rather see what you look like the other 23 hours of the day not just a one time photo session.

Dating more then one person??

Society is for ever changing,this is what we do. I have been reading some blogs

and speaking to a few people and there is a new (new to me) trend. Let me ask you something…what is up with dating more then one person at a time? I don’t quite fallow this. Since when was it OK to kiss another person while seeing someone else? Forget the physical  aspects of it think of the mental aspects. Dating is not and should not be construed as a competition. If you are someone who dates more then one man or woman at a time you may have lost a very good relationship because of this. Before physically dating someone show some respect and get to know them well before you meet. Your wasting there time and yours and mentally playing with there emotions for no other reason but for self gain. There is nothing against talking to someone on chat or email but when it becomes real take the decision and be responsible and let them know you are committed to dating one person and that you have chosen them. If it doesn’t work out then move on and take what you have learned with you.

Intimacy in your Relationship

Lets face it,men want volume and women want quality. The never ending bedroom brawl as I call it. There are about a million things you can do in a relationship to balance this out for both of you. Just like everything else in a relationship it takes time to learn what each expects. I think Sigmund Freud said  that everything revolves around sex. To a point he is correct. To begin with sex starts in the mind. The playful conversation or that romantic dinner,whatever has sparked the mood is the beginning of mental foreplay. One Technic I have learned is that the more you have mental foreplay the more healthy the sex. Most guys are bing bang boom! where as the women is more aroused with the mental foreplay and likes to build her emotions to boiling points. Touching a women’s neck or playing with her hair in combination with the romantic dinner will stimulate quality sex,not your bing bang boom.

You have to remember:

1. Lust fades

2. Fire’s lose flames

3. Energy fades

4. Time passes

All these things happen every day. It is up to you to keep the fire burning,the attraction flowing, and the want and desire to please your partner. There are many parts to a relationship and the bedroom is one of the most important tools you can use to keep you in a happy and healthy relationship. Learn how to use it with your partner.

Long Distant Relationship’s

We have spoken about this in a previous post. Due to the questions I received, I feel we should cover a few more details that may help you along the way. I am speaking of this  living day to day with it. I have been in 2 long distant relationships. One from Belarus and one from Canada.

The biggest hurdle  is time. You can profess  all the love and support in the world but at some point it has to become real. Time in these relationships is the killer. Think of it as a time bomb…tick…tick…tick. You have to understand that emotions will run very high because in your heart (mind) you have found your love in life. You can have the perfect plan put together and both work toward it with everything you have. Maybe it’s a year plan or even a 6 month plan. The issue is Time has a way of slowing you down (can’t quit your job as soon as you thought, trouble with and ex, money..and so on). There are so many factors that come without notice.

Long distant relationships can work and I know they do but before you talk with your heart, stop and think with your head and follow through with it. You need more then one or two meeting to decide if your going to follow through with it. Look at everything when you meet,your not on a vacation. Pay attention to the friends and family…use your head and investigate a little. Watch for signs and try to pick up on little details that would raise a Red Flag that may keep you from being happy in the relationship. Learn all you can about the person before you jump in with both feet….but jump before time runs out and the energy disappears…Tick…Tick…Tick

Standing the test of time…

Serendipity Dating Cafe wanted to take some time to give thanks to the ones who have made it. For the ones who have stood the test of time and who have made it through good times and bad times. Times have changed and so has the standards for relationships. The world has become so fast and free, temptation is always looking at you from the other side of the fence. For the ones who trusted in there partners and kept there head and heart in there relationship they deserve nothing but respect. Not only for there knowledge of life but also there ability to stand the test of time.

A word of advice, if your in a relationship live for that relationship. If your not in a relationship do not settle for anything less then someone who understands the tests of time and works with you not against you.

Tip on one sided relationships

For those of you who can understand this your not alone. You may ask what is a “one sided relationship”. Well, I’ll tell you. In the beginning of a relationship the two of you are in a balance. One does for the other almost equally. As time goes on normally it keeps this balance. At times, it may go one way or another but over all it equals out. Say you and your partner take roles in the house or the relationship like cooking. Now for a long time each of you have had a set structure in responsibilities around the house. All of a sudden… you start to do more then you did before and your partner is doing less. Here is where the one sided demon comes out. Now not only are you doing the cooking but your also doing all the cleaning. It’s not wrong to give a hand or even help out more but, this can escalate   . The more you do the less your partner will do and throw your relationship into a spin. This can be your day to day tasks like cooking or can even be emotional or sexual interactions. When you start to see your partner asking for more then they are giving to the relationship a Red Flag should go up. Let me give you an example of this.

“Hun, I need you to come with me just for emotional support”

(A) “How can I, I don’t want to be around those people they are nothing in my life”

“I’m tired because I just worked 60 hours can we just watch a movie at home tonight”

(A) “No, I want to go out.I don’t get a chance to do anything”

Here are the signs:

1. They say ” I ” instead of “we”

2. They want you to provide all the affection in the bed room

3. They feel everything in there life comes first then yours

4. Everything becomes about them

5. When everything you do becomes “not enough”.

These are just a few, maybe you have more to add. My point is this, all relationships are not always equal. You and you alone know what you will and will not do. However if the relationship tilts so far one way you will start to loose your identity and become this other persons slave to them. I is very hard because you still love this person but your needs are not meet. I would recommend speaking to someone if you think change can happen or part ways the best you can. One Sided Relationships are not a relationship at all so be careful and watch for this.