With online dating,online social sites,online chat, online speed dating, online online online…yeah everything is online now and I do mean everything. Some say …”cool”…some say…”where is the real interaction”. For me I like both and you can have both if you keep it balanced. There is one thing I love about the internet though,Mysterious affection. What that means is connecting on a level you couldn’t in normal day to day life. So online you put your deepest emotions out there. Stories you couldn’t tell your best friend,things like this. The internet let you connect with people on a much deeper level at a faster pace then the real world. Where the mystery comes in is when you find someone who you admire very much you can show affection in so many ways without breaking the code of silence. It’s like you both are walking the same path in life “online” but you don’t want to breach into the real world. It would be at that point it becomes real and the mystery is over. The ones who don’t show there faces but have hearts of gold,the ones who wink,the ones who visit. Mysterious affection online is just like when you open a door for a women and they have the look of surprise on there face.So if someone online is having a bad day or is proud of something…let them know your there, it goes a long way in there lives.
When starting Serendipity Dating Cafe we had the intentions of bringing to the internet a clean well thought out dating site with the comfort of a social network. We have seen this grow every day and is doing well. This maybe a personal note to my self but, I am amazed at the impact this has had on some people online. Some of you have responded to me with nothing but honesty and support and I want to thank you. There is one in particular that stands out www.blameitondisney.wordpress.com . Here is a women who wears her opinion on her sleeve and who is not afraid to be her self. To read her opinions is refreshing and gives me the want to try to change the face of online dating.
If I can offer one word of advice to all who read this. Do not get caught up in the dating world or it will become your world and you will have a difficult time finding the one to get out of the dating scene. I meet a women who had been dating for 3 years. She told me all kinds of good stories and bad but, she did tell me she got to comfortable with her lifestyle and regretted not putting in the effort on some of her dates. Slow down,chose wisely and don’t stray from who you are. You don’t find love it finds you.
Society is for ever changing,this is what we do. I have been reading some blogs
and speaking to a few people and there is a new (new to me) trend. Let me ask you something…what is up with dating more then one person at a time? I don’t quite fallow this. Since when was it OK to kiss another person while seeing someone else? Forget the physical aspects of it think of the mental aspects. Dating is not and should not be construed as a competition. If you are someone who dates more then one man or woman at a time you may have lost a very good relationship because of this. Before physically dating someone show some respect and get to know them well before you meet. Your wasting there time and yours and mentally playing with there emotions for no other reason but for self gain. There is nothing against talking to someone on chat or email but when it becomes real take the decision and be responsible and let them know you are committed to dating one person and that you have chosen them. If it doesn’t work out then move on and take what you have learned with you.
Lets face it,men want volume and women want quality. The never ending bedroom brawl as I call it. There are about a million things you can do in a relationship to balance this out for both of you. Just like everything else in a relationship it takes time to learn what each expects. I think Sigmund Freud said that everything revolves around sex. To a point he is correct. To begin with sex starts in the mind. The playful conversation or that romantic dinner,whatever has sparked the mood is the beginning of mental foreplay. One Technic I have learned is that the more you have mental foreplay the more healthy the sex. Most guys are bing bang boom! where as the women is more aroused with the mental foreplay and likes to build her emotions to boiling points. Touching a women’s neck or playing with her hair in combination with the romantic dinner will stimulate quality sex,not your bing bang boom.
1. Lust fades
2. Fire’s lose flames
3. Energy fades
4. Time passes
All these things happen every day. It is up to you to keep the fire burning,the attraction flowing, and the want and desire to please your partner. There are many parts to a relationship and the bedroom is one of the most important tools you can use to keep you in a happy and healthy relationship. Learn how to use it with your partner.
This is something I would like to talk to everyone about. Some of you out there may not understand the importance of this. What happens when you take a balloon and rub it on your head? The static energy makes your hair stand up and makes your head tingle right? The same can be said for human touch from your partner.
If you walk by her/him and just place your hand on there back it is a sign of affection that triggers there mind to feel comfort. To many time these small but powerful gestures get lost in the everyday life of a couple. Affection is one of the leading components in a good relationship. For some men it is hard for them to display affection and some women too. However affection comes in many forms.
1. Call him/her for no reason
2. Rub her/his shoulders while talking
4. buy her favorite cookies for no reason
5. when you talk stop and look at each other
These are just some of the primitive things you can do. I want you to test this and I’ll bet you will see a big difference in your man or women. Days of buying flowers to get out of the dog house are over. That form of affection only works when it is done from the heart not “oohh crap I got to do something”.You have to reconnect to that spark that started the fire.
We got a tip in this morning I wanted to share with you from one of our members. Betty had been speaking to another member for about a month. The other member decided to ask to meet some place local to him. This rose a big question in Betty’s mind…”Why would he make me drive so far ?”. Betty decided to go along with it and planned on asking him when she arrived.When she arrived the two had dinner. Now keep in mind they really hit it off and connected well online. She slid the question in while they where having coffee. His answer set her back in her chair. His response was “I didn’t want to drive all the way out there and find out it didn’t work out”. This sent so many signals to Betty that she was speechless for obvious reasons. So men out there,do not and I will repeat do not put yourself first when dating or meeting a women.
So today’s lists of don’ts: For Men
1. Pick a place that is close to you for a date
2. Automatically assume it may not work out
3. Waste the others persons time unless you are willing to commit to dating someone.
These simple things are being lost in our society. Dating in essence is natural . However, with the Internet it has opened a new bread of dater. With so many choices out there to see, we in general forget that these are real people with real lives. Serendipity Dating Cafe is not your average website. We are focusing on 30 and up. We do this because statistically people of this age have a better understanding of themselves. It’s not so much what you want in life at this age it is what you don’t want in your life. ..But this will be our next topic.