With online dating,online social sites,online chat, online speed dating, online online online…yeah everything is online now and I do mean everything. Some say …”cool”…some say…”where is the real interaction”. For me I like both and you can have both if you keep it balanced. There is one thing I love about the internet though,Mysterious affection. What that means is connecting on a level you couldn’t in normal day to day life. So online you put your deepest emotions out there. Stories you couldn’t tell your best friend,things like this. The internet let you connect with people on a much deeper level at a faster pace then the real world. Where the mystery comes in is when you find someone who you admire very much you can show affection in so many ways without breaking the code of silence. It’s like you both are walking the same path in life “online” but you don’t want to breach into the real world. It would be at that point it becomes real and the mystery is over. The ones who don’t show there faces but have hearts of gold,the ones who wink,the ones who visit. Mysterious affection online is just like when you open a door for a women and they have the look of surprise on there face.So if someone online is having a bad day or is proud of something…let them know your there, it goes a long way in there lives.
Get out of the Winter Grip.. Wake up and get out of the house this weekend. Winter has a way of bringing your spirit down. The lack of sun (S.A.D.) and the cold winter gripping your body like a hug from someone you don’t want. I avoid the cold as much as possible so sorry if this post is a little harsh to the Winter Fairy’s out there who seem to love it. A good tip that may change your mood and keep your mind in one piece is to join indoor activities with people.Here is a good list of things you could do. I face this every winter and it is amazing how it makes you feel when you do join something.
2. Go tanning to combat (S.A.D)
3. Go to the mall once a week
4. Go to a Cafe with internet
5. Find little places to eat each week and hang out
6. Indoor paint Ball or Lazer Tag
7. Join an Art class at night.
8. Go to a Library
9. Go to a pub with friends and make it a habit
10. Volunteer your time
If your alone in winter it’s not much fun, so get out there. Just because it is cold doesn’t mean Old Man Winter has you locked up dragging you to the pits of hell. Also think of it this way, if your going out to these things and see a man or women doing the same..hmm I bet you already have one thing in command so chat it up. You never know when a good relationship will come knocking on the door even if the dam thing has an inch of snow and icicles hanging from the freakn’ door knocker…lol yes, I am not fond of winter.
When starting Serendipity Dating Cafe we had the intentions of bringing to the internet a clean well thought out dating site with the comfort of a social network. We have seen this grow every day and is doing well. This maybe a personal note to my self but, I am amazed at the impact this has had on some people online. Some of you have responded to me with nothing but honesty and support and I want to thank you. There is one in particular that stands out www.blameitondisney.wordpress.com . Here is a women who wears her opinion on her sleeve and who is not afraid to be her self. To read her opinions is refreshing and gives me the want to try to change the face of online dating.
If I can offer one word of advice to all who read this. Do not get caught up in the dating world or it will become your world and you will have a difficult time finding the one to get out of the dating scene. I meet a women who had been dating for 3 years. She told me all kinds of good stories and bad but, she did tell me she got to comfortable with her lifestyle and regretted not putting in the effort on some of her dates. Slow down,chose wisely and don’t stray from who you are. You don’t find love it finds you.
OK, Let me see if I can put this in a good way for some of you to understand. Although many say looks do not mean anything, I find it hard to believe in that. Looking at this scientifically we all have what they call a dent in our Genes. Some of you may have read this report. Some are attracted to long hair or a guy with muscles. Every single person on this planet has a normal list of dents they use when looking at a man or women to see if they are attracted to one another. Say you are looking at a profile photo and only see a drivers license type photo. Some look at it and may pick up 1 or 2 likes (dents) but need much more then that to form and attraction. Take a look at the list, this may help you when doing your profile in the future.
1. Take shots of you sitting in a chair
2. Take shots of you in normal movements
3. Take shots of you dressed up
4. Take shots of you in sweat pants (informal ware)
5. Take shots of you smiling in every picture you take.
6. Take shots holding things in your life (books you like and so on)
1. Take a shot with you kissing air ??
2. Take a picture as a want to be model
3. Take a picture just showing your privates
4. Post a picture that is blurry
5. post a picture that is so dark you just see your teeth and eyes
6. Look like your about to kill someone
The object of profile pictures is to tell a story of who you are. Take some time and get good amateur photos. Sure you can get a pro to take them but why? I think people would rather see what you look like the other 23 hours of the day not just a one time photo session.
Society is for ever changing,this is what we do. I have been reading some blogs
and speaking to a few people and there is a new (new to me) trend. Let me ask you something…what is up with dating more then one person at a time? I don’t quite fallow this. Since when was it OK to kiss another person while seeing someone else? Forget the physical aspects of it think of the mental aspects. Dating is not and should not be construed as a competition. If you are someone who dates more then one man or woman at a time you may have lost a very good relationship because of this. Before physically dating someone show some respect and get to know them well before you meet. Your wasting there time and yours and mentally playing with there emotions for no other reason but for self gain. There is nothing against talking to someone on chat or email but when it becomes real take the decision and be responsible and let them know you are committed to dating one person and that you have chosen them. If it doesn’t work out then move on and take what you have learned with you.
We have spoken about this in a previous post. Due to the questions I received, I feel we should cover a few more details that may help you along the way. I am speaking of this living day to day with it. I have been in 2 long distant relationships. One from Belarus and one from Canada.
The biggest hurdle is time. You can profess all the love and support in the world but at some point it has to become real. Time in these relationships is the killer. Think of it as a time bomb…tick…tick…tick. You have to understand that emotions will run very high because in your heart (mind) you have found your love in life. You can have the perfect plan put together and both work toward it with everything you have. Maybe it’s a year plan or even a 6 month plan. The issue is Time has a way of slowing you down (can’t quit your job as soon as you thought, trouble with and ex, money..and so on). There are so many factors that come without notice.
Long distant relationships can work and I know they do but before you talk with your heart, stop and think with your head and follow through with it. You need more then one or two meeting to decide if your going to follow through with it. Look at everything when you meet,your not on a vacation. Pay attention to the friends and family…use your head and investigate a little. Watch for signs and try to pick up on little details that would raise a Red Flag that may keep you from being happy in the relationship. Learn all you can about the person before you jump in with both feet….but jump before time runs out and the energy disappears…Tick…Tick…Tick
There is a certain heavenly bliss being single. I mean you don’t have to worry about where you go or who you talk to or even what your wearing. If your single,think about how long you have been single. It is relevant when you finally do meet someone. We say it is relevant because the person you just meet may not have been single for as long as you have been.
Maybe, some of you say “So?”. Well, a person who has been single for some time lacks the ability to just jump right into a relationship vs. someone who has just gotten out of a relationship. Some of you may always need someone in there life day to day. But as we know people have become more independent and have gotten away from the structure we call marriage. On your next date or when you meet someone and feel asking this kind of question is ok,ask them how long they have been single. It will give you a good idea how to manage your time with this person.
You would be surprised how many relationships have not blossomed because they didn’t take the time to understand the other persons needs at first. Remember, good relationships have good communication. Be honest with yourself so you can be honest with others and communicate it clearly.