With online dating,online social sites,online chat, online speed dating, online online online…yeah everything is online now and I do mean everything. Some say …”cool”…some say…”where is the real interaction”. For me I like both and you can have both if you keep it balanced. There is one thing I love about the internet though,Mysterious affection. What that means is connecting on a level you couldn’t in normal day to day life. So online you put your deepest emotions out there. Stories you couldn’t tell your best friend,things like this. The internet let you connect with people on a much deeper level at a faster pace then the real world. Where the mystery comes in is when you find someone who you admire very much you can show affection in so many ways without breaking the code of silence. It’s like you both are walking the same path in life “online” but you don’t want to breach into the real world. It would be at that point it becomes real and the mystery is over. The ones who don’t show there faces but have hearts of gold,the ones who wink,the ones who visit. Mysterious affection online is just like when you open a door for a women and they have the look of surprise on there face.So if someone online is having a bad day or is proud of something…let them know your there, it goes a long way in there lives.
Love is like this…Finding a needle in a hat stack. Think about it, A big ol’ pile of hay standing right in front of you or better yet a picture you hold in your hand but the pile is the size of the world.Thousand’s and thousands of pieces of hay. Some big some small some with that green stuff I have no idea what it is and want to stay clear. But you know there is a needle in there somewhere right??…guess what? there is and there is more then one. We are taught “there somebody for everybody”..then if it doesn’t work out…guess what? they say ..”oooh you will find someone else”. Ever get the feeling that there are many many many needles out there to be found? I hope you do because there are and it is all about timing. Whether you want to hear it or not it is true. You will find that needle when your time has come. Even if your heart says..” I’m ready..grrr!!”. Sorry it just doesn’t work that way.Now for some maybe it’s not the same. Maybe your ok with meeting someone online or a speed date and it works for you and that’s grate.But most people to not fall into this category. They have a different way of finding that needle everyone talks about.I believe in fate or chance I have done the online thing and do now just to talk with people. I never did the speed dating thing,people are way to complicated to sum it up in 10 seconds…WTF shoot me before I sit down please.I am not judging those that do and if it works for you cool! but tell me how it goes. So if your looking for your needle in a hay stack,relax and don’t try so hard it will come and prick you when your not looking.
Get out of the Winter Grip.. Wake up and get out of the house this weekend. Winter has a way of bringing your spirit down. The lack of sun (S.A.D.) and the cold winter gripping your body like a hug from someone you don’t want. I avoid the cold as much as possible so sorry if this post is a little harsh to the Winter Fairy’s out there who seem to love it. A good tip that may change your mood and keep your mind in one piece is to join indoor activities with people.Here is a good list of things you could do. I face this every winter and it is amazing how it makes you feel when you do join something.
2. Go tanning to combat (S.A.D)
3. Go to the mall once a week
4. Go to a Cafe with internet
5. Find little places to eat each week and hang out
6. Indoor paint Ball or Lazer Tag
7. Join an Art class at night.
8. Go to a Library
9. Go to a pub with friends and make it a habit
10. Volunteer your time
If your alone in winter it’s not much fun, so get out there. Just because it is cold doesn’t mean Old Man Winter has you locked up dragging you to the pits of hell. Also think of it this way, if your going out to these things and see a man or women doing the same..hmm I bet you already have one thing in command so chat it up. You never know when a good relationship will come knocking on the door even if the dam thing has an inch of snow and icicles hanging from the freakn’ door knocker…lol yes, I am not fond of winter.
First we can talk about the one who got broken up with. One of the hardest things to do is imagine life after a break up. Your head is saying you knew it was coming. But the heart still hopes and pushes on. If you stop and think…and gather up all you went through chances are your better off. life is a chain of events that puts you where you are to day. That saying “if it was meant to be ,it’s meant to be” is one rule you should always live by because it is true. The break up is not the end of a battle,it is the beginning of a new day for you. It’s going to be hard but you just won a medal because if your hurting, it says you cared and have a heart and someone else deserves it more then they did. So wipe the tears and take what you learned about yourself through that relationship and us it to what you DON”T want in your life.
Now, I have a few things to say to the people out there who did the breaking up. There comes a point in your mind long before you say “It’ s over”. Your not fooling anyone. You know long before whether or not your going to stay in the relationship before you announce it.Maybe your staying in it for the right time to say it or your still feeding on the relationship to cut it when your ready to. My point is do not drag a good person along until your ready to brake up. Have some guts, have some morals. When you start to have your own agenda outside of the relationship you need to let the other person know. Don’t use the relationship as a fall back if it doesn’t work out for you. It is selfish and cowardly and will haunt you in the end.
Every situation is different but the core of this topic is always the same. If your going to break up don’t use the person a day longer,do it. If your the one who gets broken up with, ware that medal with pride because you did everything you could he/she just didn’t deserve what you had to offer.
When starting Serendipity Dating Cafe we had the intentions of bringing to the internet a clean well thought out dating site with the comfort of a social network. We have seen this grow every day and is doing well. This maybe a personal note to my self but, I am amazed at the impact this has had on some people online. Some of you have responded to me with nothing but honesty and support and I want to thank you. There is one in particular that stands out www.blameitondisney.wordpress.com . Here is a women who wears her opinion on her sleeve and who is not afraid to be her self. To read her opinions is refreshing and gives me the want to try to change the face of online dating.
If I can offer one word of advice to all who read this. Do not get caught up in the dating world or it will become your world and you will have a difficult time finding the one to get out of the dating scene. I meet a women who had been dating for 3 years. She told me all kinds of good stories and bad but, she did tell me she got to comfortable with her lifestyle and regretted not putting in the effort on some of her dates. Slow down,chose wisely and don’t stray from who you are. You don’t find love it finds you.
I heard a song today and for a long time could not for the life of me get out of my head. But, tonight it made perfect sense. There becomes a point in a relationship when things turn serious. After thinking about it, at what point is it? I am sure it is at different points for each of you. When you have connected on levels you never though humanly possible…take a step back and ask your self..“Am I ready to give all my secretes away”… At this point there is no going back…your looking into there eyes and taking a leap of faith. You have to remember one thing, no matter how big or small a secrete is they all come out eventually. Imagine if you where able to just tell all and everything you thought was a secret turned out to not be so….big? You would have wasted all that time worrying and avoiding certain situations. If you have found someone that you can look into there eye’s and give all your secretes away,you most certainly have found Love and it is up to you to keep it.
Your looking for what?? I think it is safe to say we all have read some doozys out there. From the guy who thinks a women is going to magically appear and then disappear when ever he wants or the women who wants the guy riding the white horse on a crusade to find love…..hmmm. Society teaches us to look for these things. Finding your perfect match really isn’t that hard, finding love is another story. In your essay be real and be honest with yourself. There is a difference in a dream and the reality. Most successful relationships online come from two people who did not hide anything in there profile. Another way of looking at it is list things you don’t want mixed in with what you do want. The reason I say this is we all want and when we get it we want more. You want a guy/girl to love you ,be mature,have a job and bla bla bla…this is kind of a no brainr’ don’t you think?
1. You will not sacrifice for anyone.
2. You would like to accomplish in your life
3. That you plan to do in the next 6 months
4. That you feel are romantic to you
5. That you feel are fun to you (reality not the dream)
The internet is fast almost like Speed Dating on Speed. If you combine more of what you don’t want your more likely to attract someone who is honest and willing to prove to you that hey are someone who agrees with you. In that split second someone reads “I will not move out of my town”…they say to themselves “Well, I’m not going to move to her/him”…case closed! Some miss this simple things and try and try and go round and round to only end up with a lot of hurt and time wasted.