Scars?…or War Medals? the break up

First we can talk about the one who got broken up with. One of the hardest things to do is imagine  life after a break up. Your head is saying you knew it was coming. But the heart still hopes and pushes on. If you stop and think…and gather up all you went through chances are your better off. life is a chain of events that puts you where you are to day. That saying “if it was meant to be ,it’s meant to be” is one rule you should always live by because it is true. The break up is not the end of a battle,it is the beginning of a new day for you. It’s going to be hard but you just won a medal because if your hurting, it says you cared and have a heart and someone else deserves it more then they did. So wipe the tears and take what you learned about yourself through that relationship and us it to what you DON”T want in your life.

Now, I have a few things to say to the people out there who did the breaking up. There comes a point in your mind long before you say “It’ s over”. Your not fooling anyone. You know long before whether or not your going to stay in the relationship before you announce it.Maybe your staying in it for the right time to say it or your still feeding on the relationship to cut it when your ready to. My point is do not drag a good person along until your ready to brake up. Have some guts, have some morals. When you start to have your own agenda outside of the relationship you need to let the other person know. Don’t use the relationship as a fall back if it doesn’t work out for you. It is selfish and cowardly and will haunt you in the end.

Every situation is different but the core of this topic is always the same. If your going to break up don’t use the person a day longer,do it. If your the one who gets broken up with, ware that medal with pride because you did everything you could he/she just didn’t deserve what you had to offer.


Hammering it Home

When starting Serendipity Dating Cafe we had the intentions of bringing to the internet a clean well thought out dating site with the comfort of a social network. We have seen this grow every day and is doing well. This maybe a personal note to my self but, I am amazed at the impact this has had on some people online. Some of you have responded to me with nothing but honesty and support and I want to thank you. There is one in particular that stands out .  Here is a women who wears her opinion on her sleeve and who is not afraid to be her self. To read her opinions is refreshing and gives me the want to try to change the face of online dating.

If I can   offer one word of advice to all who read this. Do not get caught up in the dating world or it will become your world and you will have a difficult time finding the one to get out of the dating scene. I meet a women who had been dating for 3 years. She told me all kinds of good stories and bad but, she did tell me she got to comfortable with her lifestyle and regretted not putting in the effort on some of her dates. Slow down,chose wisely and don’t stray from who you are. You don’t find love it finds you.

“Giving All your Secrets Away”

I heard a song today and for a long time could not for the life of me get out of my head. But, tonight it made perfect sense. There becomes a point in a relationship when things turn serious.  After thinking about it, at what point is it? I am sure it is at different points for each of you. When you have connected on levels you never though humanly possible…take a step back and ask your self..“Am I ready to give all my secretes away”… At this point there is no going back…your looking into there eyes and taking a leap of faith. You have to remember one thing, no matter how big or small a secrete is they all come out eventually. Imagine if you where able to just tell all and everything you thought was a secret turned out to not be so….big? You would have wasted all that time worrying and avoiding certain situations. If you have found someone that you can look into there eye’s and give all your secretes away,you most certainly have found Love and it is up to you to keep it.

Profile Description’s…Your what??

Your looking for what?? I think it is safe to say we all have read some doozys out there. From the guy who thinks a women is going to magically appear and then disappear when ever he wants or the women who wants the guy riding the white horse on a crusade to find love…..hmmm. Society teaches us to look for these things. Finding your perfect match really isn’t that hard, finding love is another story. In your essay be real and be honest with yourself. There is a difference in a dream and the reality. Most successful relationships online come from two people who did not hide anything in there profile. Another way of looking at it is list things you don’t want mixed in with what you do want. The reason I say this is we all want and when we get it we want more. You want a guy/girl to love you ,be mature,have a job and bla bla bla…this is kind of a no brainr’ don’t you think?

When doing a profile try to add things:

1. You will not sacrifice for anyone.

2. You would like to accomplish in your life

3. That you plan to do in the next 6 months

4. That you feel are romantic to you

5. That you feel are fun to you (reality not the dream)

The internet is fast almost like Speed Dating on Speed. If you combine more of what you don’t want your more likely to attract someone who is honest and willing to prove to you that hey are someone who agrees with you. In that split second someone reads “I will not move out of my town”…they say to themselves “Well, I’m not going to move to her/him”…case closed!  Some miss this simple things and try and try and go round and round to only end up with a lot of hurt and time wasted.

Dating Educate for Men

Once upon a time there was this thing called being a Gentlemen. These days with independent strong women, some men find themselves forgetting the simple things that Gentlemen did to show respect to there date. Women still love this even if they say they don’t. If your out on a date for the first time or even your 100th time be the man, be the Gentlemen.  Sure, there is your normal things you do like opening the door, complimenting on there looks and what you see on TV. But there are so many things you can do to show you are a Gentleman.

For instance:

  • Plan the date (all of it) but keep her interest at heart.
  • Call 10 min. before you arrive to pick her up
  • Bring her one flower (not everything in the store)
  • Waite for her to say “ok, I’m ready to go”
  • Tell her she looks wonderful but look in her eyes when you do this.
  • Always let the women lead never step in front of her.
  • Let her talk and feel comfortable

Try to think outside of the box on a date. Don’t act like a robot, women can see right through this. You will get an A for effort but the date will end sooner then you think. My point is don’t try so hard you look like a stumbling fool. Let the date flow but always think ahead to make her feel comfortable.


Profile Photo Do’s and Don’ts

OK, Let me see if I can put this in a good way for some of you to understand. Although many say looks do not mean anything, I find it hard to believe in that. Looking at this scientifically we all have what they call a dent in our Genes. Some of you may have read this report.  Some are attracted to long hair or a guy with muscles. Every single person on this planet has a normal list of dents they use when looking at a man or women to see if they are attracted to one another. Say you are looking at a profile photo and only see a drivers license type photo. Some look at it and may pick up 1 or 2 likes (dents) but need much more then that to form and attraction. Take a look at the list, this may help you when doing your profile in the future.


1. Take shots of you sitting in a chair

2. Take shots of you in normal movements

3. Take shots of you dressed up

4. Take shots of you in sweat pants (informal ware)

5. Take shots of you smiling in every picture you take.

6. Take shots holding things in your life (books you like and so on)



Do Not’s:

1. Take a shot with you kissing air ??

2. Take a picture as a want to be model

3. Take a picture just showing your privates

4. Post a picture that is blurry

5. post a picture that is so dark you just see your teeth and eyes

6. Look like your about to kill someone

The object of profile pictures is to tell a story of who you are. Take some time and get good amateur  photos. Sure you can get a pro to take them but why? I think people would rather see what you look like the other 23 hours of the day not just a one time photo session.

Dating more then one person??

Society is for ever changing,this is what we do. I have been reading some blogs

and speaking to a few people and there is a new (new to me) trend. Let me ask you something…what is up with dating more then one person at a time? I don’t quite fallow this. Since when was it OK to kiss another person while seeing someone else? Forget the physical  aspects of it think of the mental aspects. Dating is not and should not be construed as a competition. If you are someone who dates more then one man or woman at a time you may have lost a very good relationship because of this. Before physically dating someone show some respect and get to know them well before you meet. Your wasting there time and yours and mentally playing with there emotions for no other reason but for self gain. There is nothing against talking to someone on chat or email but when it becomes real take the decision and be responsible and let them know you are committed to dating one person and that you have chosen them. If it doesn’t work out then move on and take what you have learned with you.